March 5, 2012
New Bride, Same Bridesmaid
Hello Everyone,
Well, what started out as a class project is now looking to be a very useful blog. I realize I have neglected this blog for quite some time now. With graduation, the actual wedding of my dear friend Courtney, moving back home, job hunting, etc. my life has been a bit detached from this blog. However, I forgot how much I enjoy having an outlet such as a blog.
And this weekend I was given a purpose once again to pick back up on Bridesmaid Banter. My friend Jessica asked me to be a bridesmaid in her Wedding for May 2013. I am honored and extremely excited for this venture and feel so much more prepared as a bridesmaid this go around. Jessica and I were bridesmaids together for Courtney’s wedding along with several of the bridesmaids she has picked for her own wedding. I feel so lucky to have such a close group of friends.
My goal is to post once a week on various topics in relation to being a bridesmaid and weddings. I am no expert but I do feel I am learning something new about weddings all the time. Pinterest will also now probably consume a large amount of my inspiration as I have become an avid user.
This post was meant to say hello and that I’M BACK! so excited for what this year brings 
and just a sneak peak- my next post will give all the dirty details of how Courtney’s wedding turned out including pictures and an update of all of our lives right now.
Kisses,
India
June 7, 2011
A Bridal Tradition
The past several months have been a very interesting experience for me. At first I felt excited and overwhelmed to be chosen as a bridesmaid. It is such an honor, but at the same time I had never been a bridesmaid before so I didn’t know what to expect. The first place I went was to Google. The top site that popped up was www.bridesmaid101.com and this website was full of information including: bridesmaid duties, the bridal shower, a wedding checklist, how to give a great speech, and the bachelorette party. I instantly absorbed each of these categories wanting to be the best bridesmaid that I could be. Through the past few months I have certainly learned a ton and I am sure I will learn a lot more in last month leading up to the wedding. However, recently on my journey I became curious. Where did all this information come from? How is it that everyone knows how to be a bridesmaid?
Which led me to the long tradition of marriage…
In my search, I once again utilized my generation’s saving grace. I was astounded at the information out there on marriage traditions and rights, not to mention the vast differences within wedding traditions that vary from culture to culture. I have read too much information to share with you all on one blog post. However, I do feel that it is relevent to talk about the tradition that surrounds the bridesmaids and the bridal shower.
The Tradition of the Bridesmaid
Bridesmaids came around long after groomsmen did. They appeared in a more civilized time when weddings actually began to be planned as opposed to the “marriage by capture” era. Originally several days before a marriage there would be a senior maiden who would help the bride-to-be get ready for the ceremony. Today we know this senior maid as the “maid or matron of honor.” She would ensure that the bridal wreath was properly made and helped the bride get dressed. In addition, all of the other bridesmaids would help decorate for the wedding feast. It is interesting to note that in the olden days, bridesmaids would typically dress very similarly to the bride herself as well as the groomsmen dressing the same as the groom. Today we use this tradition to denote uniformity, however, they used it as a defense against evil spirits. It was believed that if evil spirits were jealous and wanted to harm the newly wed couple, then they would be confused as to which two were the bride and groom since everyone was dressed alike. Sounds like back then it was much more “risky” to be a bridesmaid than today. I sure know I wouldn’t want an evil spirit confusing me for the bride and paying the consequences!
The Tradition of the Bridal Shower
The bridal shower tradition has its roots in Holland. It is said that if a father did not approve of the bride’s soon to be husband then he would withhold her dowry. In case you don’t know, a dowry is an ancient tradition in which the woman is expected to bring something to the wedding in exchange for marrying a man. In most cases this is provided by her father in the form of money, goods, or estate. When a father did not give a bride’s dowry, the woman’s friends would “shower” her with gifts so she could provide one without her father’s assistance and marry the man of her choosing. I’m glad to announce that dowries are not in existence today, but the wonderful tradition of giving gift’s to the bride still is.
Well I hope you have all found this post to be enlightening! I know I sure learned a lot. And I am very happy that I live in the present where a bridesmaid doesn’t have to worry about “evil spirits” and a bride does not have to worry about the exchange of goods with a husband in order for him to marry her.
India
June 6, 2011
Bridesmaid’s Dress Update
Ok guys after so much turmoil over this dress, I am very pleased to announce that a final bridesmaid dress has been selected!! Let me just say- whooooooohoooooo! I am so excited about this. And I know I have said before that a final dress had been selected but this time it’s for real. I am looking at the dress hanging on my bedroom door. Now this happy post does not come without atleast a little dress drama. A few days ago Court sent out a message with a link to the “final” dress. I was pleased to see that it came from my work, New York & Company. This meant I could potentially use my discount (SCORE!) and I would actually know what the dress really looked like in person. And it’s a good thing I did know the latter of the two. The link she sent was for a sleeveless tiered ruffle dress with a v-neck in pink (not to mention it was part of a buy one get one 75% off deal that would make it a great deal if we bought in pairs). Now that sounds like a great deal and cute right? Um, great deal but not so much on the cute part. I’ve seen people try on this dress at work. It’s not that the dress itself is an ugly dress, but it does not flatter pretty much any body shape and not to mention that it is way too casual for a wedding. It looks dressier online than it actually is. I struggled for a little bit with whether or not I should say something to Courtney. Afterall, it is her wedding and not mine.
In the end, I did say something to her. I tried to do it in the most delicate way I could think of. My text simply let her know that the dress was extremely casual. The fact that it was unflattering didn’t bother me as much. I honestly just wanted to get the whole dress situation figured out but at the end of the day I didn’t want Court to have us order something she saw online and be completely unhappy with it. And it’s a good thing I said something too. The next day she went into the actual store and immediately sent out a new message changing the dress. Me butting in paid off in a positive way. She ended up choosing another dress from my work that is much more flattering, dressier, and a beautiful shade of blue. I can’t wait to rock this dress at her wedding!
below you will find a few pictures of me in the final dress now they were taken on my iphone in my full length mirror reflection so they are not the best quality but you can get the general gist
well I am happy to have updated everyone now I must get back to doing my homework while watching the MTV movie awards!
xoxo, India Read the rest of this entry »
June 5, 2011
The Wedding Date
One of the trials of being a bridesmaid is finding the perfect date for the wedding or deciding if you want to fly solo. Dating is such a huge part of our culture. You are first introduced with the idea of that “perfect guy” from the age of three when you see “Cinderella”. From then on, there is no stopping the forces of dating and the opposite sex. Seemingly every girl wants to find her perfect prince charming. This is a theme of life, and a wedding is no different. However, some girls choose to go single to a wedding in hopes of maybe finding a guy while others just enjoy meeting new people. There are definitely pros and cons to both sides of wedding date debacle.
Pros:
Going solo has the obvious appeal of being on your own, free to mingle and meet whoever you want. You don’t have to worry about your date or how much fun he may or may not be having at the wedding. I have spoken with lots of girls who have or will be attending a wedding single in the future. A good bit of them have said that their main motivation for going is to hopefully meet a new guy. This makes perfect sense. A wedding is a time of merriment and a celebration of love. What better time to meet a man, right? And if you’re not on the prowl for a new man, a wedding can simply be a time to have fun with friends. Going single means doing this without strings attached.
Going to a wedding with a date also has a lot of appeal. It’s nice to go to an event with a significant other or just a guy that you like to have fun with. It’s like a built-in dance partner and dinner conversation buddy. For most women, this is a dream come true. Thus, proving why having a date to a wedding is a wonderful idea. For me personally, I really look forward to being able to dance with my date. I haven’t really had a oppourtunity like that since dances in high school. Besides that, it is just nice to go to an event with someone I already know that I am comfortable with and will have a good time with them by my side
Cons:
The con side of going single to a wedding seems obvious to me. Many people do not like to be alone. A lot of the time, people tend to be partnered off at weddings. Now the idea of finding a guy at a wedding seems like something easy for a girl to fantasize about… meeting the man of her dreams at such a romantic place. However, this is not always the reality of the situation. No one woman is guaranteed that she will meet her prince charming.
Most girls going single to a wedding would not agree that there is a downside of having a date, however, I don’t believe this is true at all. The main negative part of going with a date is the part of actually finding the right guy to go with. If you have a boyfriend already then this step is a little more simple because it is a known fact that boyfriends (or husbands) are required to be your dates for events such as this. However, if you don’t have a built-in date it can be a little more challenging. And for me, the more unforeseen con of having a date for a wedding is worrying about if they are having a good time. I am a worrier. I want my significant other to have a good time, and if they aren’t then I’m not. However, this may just be a problem personal to me haha
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I will be attending Courtney’s wedding with a date. I really am looking forward to it and hope that this will be a night to bring me and my date closer. Andy is really opposed to the whole idea of weddings, but then again what does he know? The only wedding he has ever been to was when he was much younger for an older relative. This wedding includes: myself, a young couple, dancing, great food, and an open bar. I am certain he will have a much better time at this wedding!
I will update you all later on how my date situation goes at the wedding 
India
June 2, 2011
The Bachelorette Party
Recently, me and the other bridesmaids having been brainstorming ideas for the bachelorette party. It’s in one month exactly so we definitely need to get on the ball with that! Initially, I thought going out for drinks and then to a Cirque du Soleil show in Atlanta would be fun. However, that show does not start back up again in Atlantic Station until August which is too little too late. In the midst of all this brainstorming as a member of the “internet generation”, I did what my generation does best: I googled “bachelorette party ideas.”
The Web works wonders!
Here are my top ten bachelorette party ideas that I found online:
1. Go Gambling- This suggestion is at the top of most lists as a trip for all the girls to Las Vegas. You see this in tons of movies all the time, and personally I would love to go to Vegas for a bachelorette party (And honestly will probably end up what I do for my own wedding, fingers crossed). With so many unique hotels, shows, bars, and casinos, Vegas is an obvious choice for bachelorette and bachelor parties alike. **however, this isn’t quite in our price range or time limit for Court’s wedding**
2. Have a Spa Day- This sounds like heaven to me, especially since I have always wanted to get a professional massage or facial while getting my toes and nails done. And having a pampering girls day is a great way to bond! And I am happy to report that we will be having a mini-spa day before the wedding to get our nails and toes done as part of the bachelorette festivities.
3. Throw a Swanky Slumber Party- This idea has actually been growing recently. Many bridal parties rent a large fancy hotel room in a metro area and have fancy slumber party with lots of chick flicks, pampering, champagne, and a midnight swim in the hotel pool to relax and bond with the girls. This sounds like a great idea for a bachelorette party to me!
4. Go for a Wine Tasting- I have always wanted to go for a wine tasting the older I have gotten and the more I have appreciated wine over the past year. It seems like a perfectly sophisticated way to spend an evening having a wonderful time with friends. Typically one would think of California as the ideal location for a wine tasting weekend, but I have found that there are plenty of wine tasting opportunities right in our Atlanta backyard.
5. Do a Pub Crawl- These are popular in college but also seem like a fun idea for a bachelorette night of fun! Hitting the town with a big group of girls, exploring the city, and moving from bar to bar like a scavenger hunt seems like nothing short of brilliant. It might not be as sophisticated as a wine tasting but it sure sounds adventurous! And what bride doesn’t need a little adventure before her wedding?
6. Throw a Lingerie Party- This sounds like a scandalous and fun way to celebrate! It’s also a great way to add some spark back into the bride’s bedroom This idea also reminds me of high school when me and Court got her “Mister” edible underwear as a joke for his birthday- being the serious type sometimes, he did not take the joke too well but we thought it was hilarious! haha
7. Go Camping- I am not known for my out-doors personality but believer it or not, I actually love to go camping! I think it would be a great way to spend the weekend with friends. It’s so easy to bond and celebrate the special occasion together as a tight-knit group because you are more cut off from the stresses of everyday life. This is not as fancy of an idea, but it is a fun way to bond with the girls and highlight how wonderful the bride is. Too bad it almost 100 degrees outside in Georgia already- not exactly the ideal time of year to go camping.
8. Go to a Dinner Theater- This idea has endless possibilities Cirque du Soleil, Comedy Show, Murder Mystery Dinner, etc. As I mentioned earlier, Cirque du Soleil is not an option for us but these other ideas certainly are! Dinner theater would be a really unique way to spend time with the bridesmaids and bride because it’s definitely not something we go do in our normal everyday lives.
9. Throw a traditional Bridal Shower- this is such a great idea to be included with the bachelorette party weekend. It’s such a wonderful way to show how the bridesmaids think the bride is a great friend or sister. It’s a time for everyone to focus only on the bride and share funny stories, favorite photos, and play silly wedding games such as making a wedding dress out of toilet paper! Unfortunately Court doesn’t think we have enough time to throw both a bachelorette party and bridal shower but I disagree! Hopefully we can talk her into celebrating herself sometime soon
10. Bridal Lunch- This idea is popular for many women. Having a fancy lunch for the bride is a great way to include a larger group especially older family members from other generations. It makes for a relaxing day and is a classic tried and true way to celebrate the bride.
I hope you have all enjoyed reading these top ten bachelorette party ideas! I know it certainly has given me a lot to think about and a lot for the other bridesmaids to think about too when planning Courtney’s party!
Until tomorrow,
India
May 27, 2011
Blackout
Unfortunate news… last night Athens experienced a power blackout like the other 200,000+ residents of Georgia. Only about half of the town was affected. My apartment happened to be in an area where the power went out. Therefore, I had to go into problem solving mode. While I waited for the awful storm to pass, I contacted various friends who still are living here for the summer. Finally my friend Justin responded saying that he still had power. So in a hurried rush I went over to his apartment to work on my homework. Through the distractions of a dog, the NBA playoffs game, and guys chattering… my homework assignment took a lot longer to complete than anticipated. So therefore, I regret to update you guys that my dress search did not happen. I will continue to look later today, however, and hopefully I can find something Courtney likes! Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me…
May 26, 2011
More Dress Chaos
Well ladies and gentlemen…
The bridesmaid dress chaos continues. Apparently the dress does not come in all the sizes needed. What a bummer! I actually liked this dress and was excited to finally order a dress so that could be done with. But no such luck. So today my phone has vibrated continuously with inbox notifications. At this point I am trying to decide whether it is better for me to take a step back and just allow a decision to be made with no interference or be proactive in trying to find an alternative dress.
I’ve been going back and forth on this all morning with every message I get. I think the best solution would be to help find alternatives. However, I am very busy with school right now and we are certainly under a time crunch at this point. I also admit that I want to help to ensure that the dress isn’t too expensive. I am so very excited and honored to be a bridesmaid for Courtney. And I hate that I can’t be closer to help her more with the wedding. But I think I need to be a good friend and a good bridsmaid. And in order to do that I need to help. Despite the fact that I have a ton of homework tonight, I am going to spend a few hours looking for dresses online tonight.
I will update everyone later tonight or tomorrow morning on my findings
May 24, 2011
The Bridesmaid Dress
We have all heard the story… boy and girl meet, they fall in love, they get engaged, the wedding is planned, and the bridesmaid’s dress ruins it all. I’m only joking of course. However, the dress has been one of the greatest sources of stress for this wedding and not to mention the reason my facebook inbox is constantly flooded with messages (I actually think my iPhone might explode from having to notify me so often)!
I do have to say though, through all the changes that have gone on with this dress over the past few months, Courtney truly has been a selfless bride. You hear horror stories of “Bridezillas” who don’t want their bridesmaids looking better than them, causing some truly heinous dress choices. If you have ever seen the move “27 Dresses” then you know exactly what I am talking about (and if not, I highly recommend seeing it). The reason we have had so much trouble is because Courtney has been trying to please everyone. Some of us are tall, some short, some large-chested, others not- which makes it very difficult to find a dress that flatters everyone. In addition to finding a style that suits each girl, the color has also caused a great deal of trouble. What pink is the “right” pink? And who ever knew that a shade of a color could matter so much?
About a month ago, I went to David’s Bridal to try on dresses with Courtney. I found a few that I really liked on me, but the styles were not for everyone or they only came in select colors. Needless to say, none of the dresses that were tried on were a final runner up in the “bridesmaid dress contest” that has seemed to be going on. From September, I believe the dress color and style has changed almost ten times. My closet gets dizzy just thinking about it..
And just today I recieved yet another message of a so-called “final” bridesmaid dress. At this point I don’t really have an opinion on the style of the dress. I’m just going to keep up with my work-out routine and hope the final style flatters me. And if it doesn’t, well in the words of Katherine Heigl as ‘Jane’ in 27 Dresses, “Look I don’t care if somebody wants me to wear a funny dress. It’s their day, not mine.”
Here’s to hoping that the “Maggy London Halter Empire Waist Evening Dress” in “hibiscus pink” will be the final bridesmaid dress choice!
cheers everyone <3 India
May 23, 2011
The Complications of a Wedding Party
Before I was chosen to be part of a wedding party, I was blissfully unaware of the complicated intricacies that are involved. For my friend Courtney, the job of picking out her bridesmaids was easy. My fellow bridesmaids include her sister Megan (the maid of honor), childhood friends such as Chelsea and Michelle and high school/college friends such as myself, Ivonne, Sona, and Jessica. You counted right, there are 7 of us girls. And trust me, trying to coordinate the schedules of 7 girls to plan a bachelorette party, bridal shower, or duties for the wedding is no picnic. This is further complicated by the distance of all of the bridesmaids. We are scattered across the state of Georgia at different universities with jobs and responsibilities. However, we all love Courtney and through the miracle of Facebook, we are able to communicate with a fair amount of ease. To most this would seem like the big obstacle of a wedding party. While being far apart is challenging in planning, a curve ball was thrown at Courtney about a month ago.
Her future husband Will is enlisted in the Army Reserves. This makes life difficult for Courtney while he is away but I am proud of the path he has chosen to provide for himself and his family. So far, the Army has had a hand in the date of the wedding. Now things are more rushed than they once were planned to be. Instead of a September wedding, it will be held on July 9th. When the wedding date was changed, so were the plans for the groomsmen party. Will’s brothers were all originally supposed to be a part of the wedding party. He comes from a big family. However, his brothers are also part of the military in one form or another and some of them are now unable to make the new date for the wedding.
….The Army giveth, and the Army taketh away.
On the bright side, the Army has given once again… providing Will with new close friends who are now able to be a part of his wedding. And so the wedding presses on with 5 groomsmen versus 7 bridesmaids. Now typically this would be no problem. Thousands of weddings are performed everyday with uneven wedding parties. But on a sidenote: Courtney and I were editors of our high school yearbook together. While we may support procrastination at heart, we will also be perfectionists until the day that we die! And an uneven wedding party is simply unacceptable.
So as a solution, Courtney altered her bridesmaid party. CUT-THROAT! The whole time she was going through this decision-making process I just kept praying that I would “make the cut.” Thankfully I did. She did not, however, actually cut people from the wedding party. Instead, two of the girls are now going to walk down the aisle with some of the smaller children in the ceremony instead of a groomsman and then will be seated in the front row. I think that this is a very diplomatic resolution to the problem.
Hopefully this will be the last of the wedding party debacle 2011…
Until next time, India
May 18, 2011
Welcome
Hi, my name is India.
Some of you visiting this blog may or may not know me. I am a student at the University of Georgia on the verge of graduating and being spit out into the big bad “real world.” I feel like my entire world is changing around me… I will no longer be labeled as a student (then what?), the job search will soon commense, friends are moving far away for jobs, friends are having babies, and friends are getting married. While all of this is exciting, it is also scary. Currently I am trying to juggle school, work, figuring out the rest of my life, and being a bridesmaid for one of my close friends from high school. This will be the second wedding I’ve ever attended in my life and I’m sure it will be the first on many where I will actually be in the wedding party. This blog is dedicated to Courtney’s wedding and all of the craziness that has happened and the future happiness and chaos that will ensue. With a little over two months to go until the wedding, it’s sure to be interesting! Please enjoy the real life stories of a real life bridesmaid 
Love, India
